A flower he could not keep
by Surrealmom
Summary: Sesshomaru has begun to realize that young Rin's need for care, love and protection is growing.
1. His sad face

She stopped only for moment to study an odd, small lizard. "Jaken sama, can  
I take it with me?" Rin's eyes were filled with hope, more so than usual.  
"A mere lizard? You honestly think that a lizard is worthy of traveling  
with the great Sesshomaru?" Jaken knew that Sesshomaru couldn't afford to  
have Rin distracted, even something as trivial as a lizard could divert her  
attention so much that she could find herself in more danger.  
"Rin, put it down." Sesshomaru had noticed over time that Rin's need for  
companionship was growing deeper during the past few months.  
Rin looked up at him admiringly with her large brown eyes and inquisitive  
smile, of course, he refused to make any eye contact. She noticed that his  
notorious emotionless face carried a sadness and a sense of hopelessness.  
His body was completely motionless, yet the rapid winds seemed to dance  
vigorously with each strand of his long silver hair. Rin had never seen  
this expression on his face, nor had she ever felt this uneasyness about  
Sesshomaru.  
"How long can she stay with me, how long can she keep up? How long until  
she will leave me.?" Sesshomaru thought to himself. He looked down directly  
into her innocent eyes. "Rin, did you get rid of the creature?"  
Rin nodded, "Yes Sesshomaru." She thought it best not to  
bother him, not today.  
That night, Rin lay awake staring at the stars, trying to count them  
to pass time. She thought about Sesshomaru, and when she first found him.  
Suddenly, thoughts of her family began to meander through her mind. She  
didn't remember much before Sesshomaru, he had become her whole world.  
Visions of the wolves that had attacked her came flashing before her eyes.  
Terrified, she began to shiver. She looked to where Sesshomaru was sitting,  
he looked peaceful for the moment. She decided it was safe to approach him.  
Still shaking, she tried to be quiet as she sat beside him. She then  
crawled into his lap and sighed happily. He looked down at her, watching  
her curl his fur around her tiny fingers. He remembered what she looked  
like when she found him.beaten, cold and hungry. He couldn't understand how  
someone could hurt such an innocent child. Just then he realized it,  
somehow, a spark of humanity had found its way into his thoughts. He loved  
her, and never wanted any harm to come to her, ever again. 


	2. Rage

Morning came, and Rin was hungry yet again. "Jaken, go with Rin to find  
food. We will be leaving shortly."  
"Of course Sesshomaru sama, Rin, come!" Jaken thoroughly enjoyed  
these brief moments of power.  
While picking various fruits from the forest, Rin noticed what looked  
to be a unique white flower in the distance. "I'll be right back Jaken  
sama!" Rin's curiosity got the better of her, as it usually did.  
"Wait, wait! RIN!" Jaken being so small, could not catch up with the  
quick Rin.  
She walked closer to the white shimmer in the forest. As she  
approached it, she noticed it didn't seem to be a flower, but more of a  
crescent shape. She squinted her eyes as she came closer to the object. She  
looked down on it, baffled. She reached out her hand to touch it. Suddenly  
the object moved with a great speed, so fast that it was but a spark of  
light to Rin's eyes, now filled with pain. The object ripped into her  
throat and the side of her face, and flew into the sky. Rin screamed in  
what seemed to be her never ending agony. Sesshomaru ran furiously to Rin's  
side, he then heard a laughter in the distance. A red-eyed woman appeared  
before him, holding her infamous fan.  
"Hmm, I didn't think she would survive that." She stood there, smiling at  
the sight of the fatally wounded girl, breathing heavily.  
"Sessh. . .Sesshomaru. . ." Rin was barely recognizeable, her face was  
saturated in her own blood. Her breathing was delayed, and fading. Kagura  
looked down upon Rin's helpless body. Her eyes seem to pierce through Rin's  
soul. Kagura then looked up at Sesshomaru.  
"You wouldn't help me, you didn't care. You knew that you could have  
defeated Naraku! Now I will never be free.and your precious child will pay  
the price." With one flick of her thin, pale wrist, Kagura was soaring  
above the clouds on her feather. There was no time for revenge. Sesshomaru  
stood up and looked at Rin in a puzzlement. "She's near death, I shouldn't  
let her suffer any more. . .she's beyond any healing." He then raised his  
toukijin above Rin. "You're going to be fine, Rin." He brushed his slender  
fingers through her bangs and whispered, "It will only hurt for a moment."  
He thrusted his toukijin into Rin's chest. Her body gave one last twitch of  
the foot, and she was gone. "My tenseiga, yes! That can revive her. . .it  
must." Sesshomaru reached for his tenseiga, and the sword that was Rin's  
only chance, was gone. "What? Where is it!" Sesshomaru's voice changed into  
a vengeful growl. Panicking, as Sesshomaru rarely does, his eyes shifted  
towards various directions, then down to Rin's small, lifeless body.  
Staring coldly into the sky, he screamed in grief, his eyes grew large and  
red. Abandoning his his human form, he yelled, "Jaken! Stay with her, don't  
leave her this time." Sesshomaru ran off, his paws pounded against the  
earth furiously. His silver fur seemed to be only a streak of light,  
incomparable to the dawn's early sun. His grief fueled only fueled his  
speed. 


	3. A Soul that Lingers

Sesshomaru picked up Kagura's distinctive scent quickly. He darted through  
the tall trees in the dense, dark forest. Suddenly, a girl appeared before  
him. He looked down upon the girl, studying her. He reverted to his human  
form, and drew his toukijin.  
"Where is Kagura, you must know . . . you smell of Naraku." He was certain  
that this girl was linked to Kagura. Her dress was white, and her skin was  
pale. Her white hair cascaded down upon a mirror which she gripped with  
both hands. The girl's eyes were cold and empty, and her face had a blank  
expression upon it. She looked directly at Sesshomaru, it seemed as though  
her eyes were looking right through him. The girl didn't answer Sesshomaru  
at first, she seemed to tell many stories through her eyes, all stories of  
death and betrayal.  
Then, suddenly she spoke in a meak, monotoned voice, "My sister . . . she  
has asked me to rob you of a soul, but how can this be yours . . . all I  
see of it is a fragment innocence and grief . . . all for a lost love. A  
girl, she mourns, because she cannot find you."  
Sesshomaru gazed at the girl in a rage, "Enough! You will tell me where  
Kagura is, or I will cut your throat! I am no human, I have no soul. Your  
witchcraft has no affect on me." He raised his sword, clenched his fangs  
and gave a soft growl.  
"It was a child . . . yes, I can see her. I can see the one person you have  
loved. It is her soul that I am seeing." A soft wind then came from behind  
Sesshomaru.  
"Her soul will do." Kanna assured herself. Sesshomaru watched in a state of  
shock as he saw the innocent soul of what once was his young Rin being  
pulled into the mirror that the girl had in her small pale hands.  
"How can this be, Rin is dead. She should have passed on . . ."  
Sesshomaru's eyes widened.  
"The girl lingers on earth in pain, for the one who cared for her is the  
one who took her life." Kanna knew that she would break Sesshomaru's spirit  
soon.  
"No . . . I had to do it, she was suffering . . . my tenseiga, if onlyI. ."  
Sesshomaru looked into the mirror, realizing what Rin's fate would now be.  
He looked down on the girl in hatred. "I will NOT let you imprison MY  
CHILD!"  
With all of his strength, Sesshomaru plunged his sword into the small  
mirror which now contained Rin's soul. Kanna's blank expression now faded  
into fear. Her small body was thrown against a tree, as her mirror  
shattered. Beams of light came shining through the cracks, and Rin's soul  
was freed. Sesshomaru watched in relief as Rin's essence began to reach for  
the sky. 


	4. The Torn Traitor

Staring ahead, Sesshomaru gathered his thoughts as he walked through the  
forest. He had lost Kagura's scent long ago. His footsteps seemed to be the  
only sound within the trees, the animals were quiet that night. "She was  
too young, just a child, an unwanted child. . .I was all she had." He then  
stopped and realized, "She was all I had. . ." He looked to the sky in  
wonderment. "I wonder if she is at peace where she is. . ." Sesshomaru knew  
that he could never forgive himself for letting this happen to her.  
Suddenly, every animal in the forest began to shriek and scamper.  
Sesshomaru paused for a moment to smell the air, trying to discover what  
the disturbance was. He picked up the scent quickly. "Naraku, show  
yourself!" Naraku appeared before him. He stood next to his eternally bound  
slave, Kagura.  
She glared at Sesshomaru as if to say, "Now is your chance." She nodded her  
head at Sesshomaru, then looked up at her master.  
"The notorious Sesshomaru. Heh. . . I remember you. Still angry about the  
arm incident? Or holding a grudge about the girl?" Naraku's voice had never  
sent this chill down Sesshomaru's spine.  
"Naraku, I will give you one chance to return my tenseiga. After that your  
blood will spill." Sesshomaru was more than ready to slay Naraku.  
"Your Tenseiga? Kagura. . ." Naraku turned to the terrified woman at his  
side. "You did not inform me that you had collected anything from your last  
mission."  
"I. . .I had only saved it for a short time, I retrieved it for you. It has  
the power to restore life in a hundred slain youkai!" She handed the  
myterious sword to Naraku.  
"You kept this worthless piece of metal from me, Kagura." Naraku held out  
his hand, revealing a small, glowing, red orb. He then tightly grasped the  
orb in his hands. "Kagura, you do remember what I told you about your  
heart, do you not?"  
"But I. . . I took the sword thinking that you could increase your power  
with it, I just wanted to please you." Kagura held her hands to her chest.  
"Then I assume you do remember." Naraku released the orb from his grip,  
letting it gently levitate above his palm. "Watch, Kagura. Watch as your  
nightmare becomes a reality." Naraku stared into the orb, as Kagura  
screamed in pain. She fell to her knees, and stared into her masters eyes.  
"Pathetic." Naraku had made his descision. The orb became englufed in a  
blue flame. Kagura gasped one last time, as her body turned to ash.  
Sesshomaru watched in horror as a strong breeze came and carried the ashes  
into the night sky. Naraku turned to Sesshomaru and declared, "So, it is  
this thing you are after? This piece of metal has motivated you to  
challenge me? It's really a pity. You aren't half as worthless as Kagura  
was."  
"Just hand the sword over, do not make this difficult. I still have my  
toukijin, and it can do much more damage than that sword ever will."  
Sesshomaru stood his ground, with a fleeting hope that words could persuade  
a demon of this proportion to surrender the sword that would decide Rin's  
fate. 


	5. Hope

Naraku stood motionless, bowing his head. "You know, Sesshomaru, it's true  
that I really don't have any reason to keep this sword. Go ahead, take it."  
Naraku threw the sword to the ground in front of Sesshomarus's feet.  
Sesshomaru glared at the demon, anticipating an attack. Naraku gave one  
last laugh, and vanished with the wind. Sesshomaru made no sudden move.  
Making sure that Naraku was no longer present, he sniffed the air. Certain  
that Naraku had fled, Sesshomaru cautiously moved toward the tenseiga, and  
quickly grabbed it. He pondered Naraku's unusual generosity, but it was no  
matter. He now had the tenseiga and could save Rin.  
He traveled a far distance in a short amount of time. He couldn't  
care about the pain in his legs from running so far, he could only think of  
seeing Rin's smile again.  
"Sesshomaru sama! You've returned!" Jaken was not used to being without his  
master for so long.  
Sesshomaru looked to where Rin's body once layed. "Where is Rin."  
Jaken pointed to the pile next to him. "I've just covered her with some  
leaves, the insects were swarming her body."  
Sesshomaru approached the pile of leaves and twigs. He kneeled down, and  
removed the debris with his one arm, revealing Rin's stiff body. While  
looking down upon the child's cold corpse, he remembered the way she used  
to laugh. How at night she would snore softly, how she would try to teach  
Jaken to dance whenever given the oppurtunity, and how she sometimes would  
willingly grab his hand with her tiny fingers, and just walk alongside him,  
trying so hard to keep up. A tear gently fell from Sesshomaru's eye. "You  
are saved, Rin."  
Sesshomaru stood up and raised his tenseiga. He looked down upon the demons  
crawling around Rin's helpless body, and thrashed his sword down upon them.  
The blade sliced through the demon's corrupted bodies, and it was done.  
Sesshomaru paused for a moment, then lifted Rin's head with his arm. He  
looked into her eyes, waiting for any sign of life. Suddenly, her wounds  
began to close, and her bruises disappeared. She blinked once, and shifted  
her eyes to Sesshomaru. She spoke in a soft, meak voice. "Sessh. .  
.Sesshomaru sama?" Sesshomaru held her close to his chest.  
"Rin. . .you were attacked, but you're going to be fine. Never run off like  
that again, do you understand?" Sesshomaru's voice was weak.  
Rin closed her eyes. "I'm sorry, Sesshomaru sama." She sighed in relief and  
clutched Sesshomaru's fur. Still holding her tightly, Sesshomaru noticed  
there was a scar on her back being exposed through her torn dress. He  
looked closer at the mark in horror. The scar was in the shape of a spider. 


	6. Scarred

Sesshoumaru gazed in horror at the scar below her shoulders. "Sesshoumaru  
sama. . .I couldn't find you. . ."  
Rin's eyes closed, she needed her rest. He only wished to hug her tightly.  
Sesshoumaru cradled her head, and covered her body with his cloak of fur.  
She seemed to be alright, for now. He was glad that she slept so long, he  
needed the time to think. That morning, her eyes opened to see the bright  
blue sky that shined through the tops of the trees. She turned her head to  
see Sesshoumaru's face, she was shocked to find that his eyes were closed.  
She couldn't remember the last time she saw him sleeping. His eyes quickly  
opened, almost shocked himself that he had slept so long.  
"Rin, you must be hungry. Jaken, bring her food." Jaken quivered in fear  
beneath his master of all these years.  
"Could he really care this much for her?" He sighed and scurried into the  
forest. Rin stood up and stretched as she took a deep breath.  
"Sesshoumara sama, can I go swimming today? I haven't been swimming in so  
long, and there are these really pretty rocks near that river and sometimes  
there are tiny crabs on them and. . ." Sesshoumaru was for once happy to  
hear her typical rambling, she seemed to be herself.  
He started to think, "Maybe her innocence can over power Naraku's presence,  
is that. . .possible?" She smiled at him lovingly. He stood up and grasped  
her hand.  
"You may swim today." He almost smiled down at the child, but not quite.  
Rin gasped in glee, "Thank you, Sesshoumaru sama!" She ran frantically to  
the nearby river. He watched her leap through the tall grass, trying to put  
the scar from his mind. Whether or not it would affect her future didn't  
matter right now, she was happy, and he wanted her to stay that way.  
Until that evening, Rin's burst of energy seemed limitless. Reluctantly,  
she rested under a tree. Sesshoumaru could feel an evil presence. Fearing  
that it was Rin, he stood up, and quietly walked over toward the sleeping  
child and glared at her back, where the scar remained.  
He kneeled on the grass, and placed his cold hand on her neck, Rin awoke,  
"Sesh-Sesshoumaru sama! You scared me!" She glanced up at him with a dazed  
look upon her face.  
"Go back to sleep, Rin." He stood up, turned around and walked away from  
the confused child. He knew at that moment that Naraku had claimed another  
victim. Her skin was cold and pale, like his.  
He thought to himself, "Was this done simply to throw me off track? Will  
she become a puppet like Kohaku? What is Naraku planning. . ." Just then,  
Jaken ran to Sesshoumaru's side.  
"Sesshoumaru sama! That women! The one with the fan, I could have sworn it  
was her. . .She's in the forest!"  
Confused, Sesshoumaru looked down on the pathetic creature. "Jaken, you saw  
Kagura? The wench died, I saw it happen."  
Jaken looked up at his master in fear, "Truly Sesshoumaru sama! My eyes  
were not mistaken, the woman was lying on the forest ground, she may have  
been wounded, I didn't stay to find out." Sesshoumaru glared down at  
Jaken's quivering body.  
"Lie to me, Jaken, and I will make sure that your death is a slow one."  
aken's already large eyes widened, "Never, Sesshoumaru sama! It's really  
her!" Sesshoumaru looked back at Rin, still awake and baffled.  
"Tell me where to find her, and watch Rin." 


End file.
